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capn_elly
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Name: Elly
Birthday: 10/16/1977
Gender: Female
Interests: I've had an interest in pirates and the caribbean BEFORE the movie. Mythology and egypt. Physics. Astronomy. Movies. Music. Cars. Bikes. Mechanics. Art. oh yes...and FOOD! FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD.
Expertise: Causing trouble.Living through hell.Cake. mm. Cake.
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/13/2004
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| i still lurk around here, though nothing goes on anymore. no one posts. xanga is becoming a ghost page.
it doesnt matter, mostly i visit because i like the memories and to re read old posts and old sites. amphitrites tears, anti propper...
I feel like somewhere along this road i left my wallet behind. I miss my friends, before we had kids and could be all retarded, or before things got weird. Something is missing in my life right now. the weird thing is, i think its me.
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| It isn't the same anymore....life.....
I know it always changes, but not until recently has it ever moved so quick. In a little less than a month Ian will be a year old. People always let that little cliche spill out of their mouth when speaking with new parents, "Remember it, time goes so fast".
My gingerale is empty...that went too fast too.
My little boy. The soul of my life. I had never wanted to be a parent, and now I can't imagine NOT being one.
What has he done? Made leaps and bounds. hes a power crawler, and a steady cruiser. He signs, he understands instruction, he even knows how to put the shaped blocks in the correct shaped holes. He cant get enough of books, and music. OOOoooh music, he listens intently completely focused with a hard stare into nothing to Mozarts piano sonatas, and reggae. ALL reggae. he will bop to reggae in time to the beat. he has almost 8 teeth. he eats pretty much everything, though prefers veggies. he laughs at his farts, and loves it when mommy and daddy dance him around the room. he doesnt know exactly how to kiss, but he tries. and he snuggles in close with his arms around my neck at night. and every morning he rolls over and puts both hands on my shoulders and yells MA MA MA MA MA! then rolls over to daddy, puts both hands on his shoulders and punches yelling DA DA DA DA. He rarely cries unless he is afraid. He jumps EVERY SINGLE TIME, no matter what he is doing when the daily double makes that sound on Jeopardy.
all of this in the blink of an eye.
i guess next blink he'll be a teenager.....God help me. hahaha
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| Just remembering that really sick murder on the greyhound in manitoba.
Its just so messed up. Things like this bothered me a little before, but never really it never stuck with me. This case however did...i mean the guy isn't a serial killer.
some random senseless crazyass murder that could happen anyplace, anytime to anyone. Thats whats frightening. And on a bus..where you can't really escape. Do I feel bad for Tim and his family...my God yes. It makes my throat tighten and eyes well up. This was someones boy..he was only 22 I believe. What if he were my son? What does it take to extinguish life so brutally? And....do I feel bad for Vincent? Hell yes I do. I really think being schizophrenic is one of the most frightening disorders....this man wasn't a monster. This man has to live with himself knowing he is completely nuts, he cant get rid of voices, and he dismembered and cannibalized a boy.
and here is what makes me so afraid....no one covers his meds, no one helps him, no one monitors him which is why this happened in the first place. AND if he passes his psychiatric evaluation at the end of the year, he is free to go without a criminal record, back into our society.
just...what the hell....*sigh*
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| I have found my life renewed in you.
The spirit you have reflects my father and lets me see him again
every day.
My Son My Son,
I would give very life for you.
The look you have radiates your father, and makes me love him more,
every day.
My Son, My Son,
I see the life of the world in you,
your perfect image reminds me of God our Father, so I can feel closer to him,
Every second. | | |
| This is a topic that has beel ruling my life for months now, for many different reason, by many different circumstances. Yes I know money makes the world go round, and in order to live comfortable you do need some money. However, it has never ever stressed me out. I budget, pay down my loans and while I could pay them faster, I dont. I chose to leave some breathing room for tiny indulgences that make me happy. I know paying for a coffee is ridiculous when you can make it at home, but once in awhile it's nice to go out, sit somewhere in a different environment and have the ridiculously priced 5 dollar latte outside and talk with a friend. I feel like it isnt just the coffee I am paying for, I paid for someone to make it for me, and so that I could relax somewhere with someone and just forget for awhile the pressing matters at home. I paid for the coffee so that some teenager or philosophy graduate could have a job, to pay for their dinner. I wish we could claim things like that as donations on our tax returns ;) And yes I have a bigger phone plan, though I did cut it down by 40 bucks, I still decided to keep a basic email plan. So I still have my little crackberry addiction, without the browser part. 40 bucks is still 480 a year. I DONT NEED to have a lot of money to enjoy myself. I also don't need to worry so much over my debt that it makes me stressed. I just want to know why people give others/me/themselves flack for not being so strict with money that I cant even give my change to the barista who made my coffee. I just think there is no point to living if you cannot organize yourself to create balance in your life. I dont mind second hand clothing/furniture if its been gently used. Then you can have nice things at a fraction of the cost. I dont mind sacrificing space for quality. and DAMN IT i enjoy fresh flowers in my bathroom! This isn't about anyone in particular, because I know a lot of people who have been hit hard by the job loss, and who are just in a hard place from loans and other things right now. Many people seek advice, some see financial planners (which in my opinion is a waste of time) so I hear about this quite a bit, and it just has me thinking. I have never been worried about my money. I just make my plan, leave space for me, and trudge along knowing that it will be paid only a few years later than the person who budgets so strictly they cant breathe and are an unhappy overworked mess. I can wait 2 more years, that is the price I choose to pay to be relaxed and have the little things that make me a happier person. | | |
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